i think before i start going on about my own stuff i should make sure is there anything left you wanna talk about in regards to it? any questions or anything? i didn't really talk to you about what happened
I still don't really understand it all. One second we were talking, then the next, I was a tree. Then it was just nothing until it was all over and I was me again.
yeah. i had convinced myself that it was disordered and broken and that only my plan to use kyogre to reset the world could fix it. i was stopped, fortunately, but i still got very close and only realised how wrong i was when i was standing in the storm that would've heralded the end. the problem was i had it in me to be a deluded madman on that level before, the relic fed on it and dug it all back up. that's not to say the me you saw under the relic's control was the real me, it was entirely the relic. the unfortunate truth is that the delusional person it made me was similar to what i'd already done. that's why i was talking about that crazy balance of nature shit. when i realised what i'd done wrong back home and started working to atone, i still held my beliefs but not even close to such an extreme. i realised that what i wanted could be achieved by working with humanity. i thought everything had to start over, but actually it can be fixed and upheld simply by humans working together to make things better. not to mention the situation back home isn't half as bad as i had convinced myself it was. i was pushed back into that crazy way of thinking. the relic also made me act sadistic and homicidal. that's why i was talking to you so calmly before i did what i did. i was enjoying your confusion and hurt, the betrayal and it made me enjoy killing you, because my mind had been so badly warped i thought i was doing the right thing. or what i had to do, because i thought no-one understood what i was doing. it was the same back home, but i never actually hurt anyone, and i don't think i ever would've.
do you see what i mean? the stupid rock not only got into my head and completely warped who i am and what i believe, but it also compelled me to use its power no matter what. even if it involved hurting someone that i would never dream of hurting otherwise.
i hate that memory.
i can't tell you more about why the relic is the way it is. just what it did to me. i didn't even understand until i came back and had it explained several times.
this is long and beautiful and I hope my reply does it justice
[ There's a pause. There isn't usually a pause in Ash's texts, because he doesn't type them manually, he connects wirelessly to his phone and sends them instantaneously, as he thinks the words. But this conversation seems serious, and Ash wants to take the time to make sure what he says is the right thing. The thing he truly means, and the thing Archie needs to hear.
He so often says the wrong thing. He'd feared it was something he'd said which made Archie turn him into a tree, that day. Now, he understands that it wasn't, that nothing he could have said or done would have stopped Archie's mad progression through Maurtia Falls. But he still doesn't want to say the wrong thing. ]
I think everyone makes mistakes. Not world-ending ones, always. Most of the time they're smaller mistakes than that. But it sounds like you learned from the mistake you made back home, and were trying to be better.
I'm sorry the relic used your mistake against you.
yes and no i remember what i was doing and thinking during the time, but it wasn't like i was stuck in my own head while the relic created a new persona i had 0 control but just thought i was acting as i had to
yeah you can talk to merle, lucretia, magnus or taako about it. the relic was from their world so i think they could give you better technical answers.
i just can't say it won't happen again, through a relic or some bullshit that happens here. all i can say is i'd never hurt you like that if i have full control of my own actions.
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subroutined) wrote2017-12-31 08:20 pm
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thanks
i think before i start going on about my own stuff i should make sure
is there anything left you wanna talk about in regards to it? any questions or anything?
i didn't really talk to you about what happened
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I was afraid of you.
Then I heard that it wasn't your fault.
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i can tell you why. it's not nice, but i can tell you what i was doing.
[he won't get into it unless ash asks, though.]
did you ever get told why it happened?
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[ He wants to know, even if it's hard to hear. ]
Not really. I know there was a stone that made you do it, somehow. But I don't really understand how or why.
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it's related
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the problem was i had it in me to be a deluded madman on that level before, the relic fed on it and dug it all back up. that's not to say the me you saw under the relic's control was the real me, it was entirely the relic. the unfortunate truth is that the delusional person it made me was similar to what i'd already done. that's why i was talking about that crazy balance of nature shit.
when i realised what i'd done wrong back home and started working to atone, i still held my beliefs but not even close to such an extreme.
i realised that what i wanted could be achieved by working with humanity. i thought everything had to start over, but actually it can be fixed and upheld simply by humans working together to make things better. not to mention the situation back home isn't half as bad as i had convinced myself it was.
i was pushed back into that crazy way of thinking.
the relic also made me act sadistic and homicidal. that's why i was talking to you so calmly before i did what i did. i was enjoying your confusion and hurt, the betrayal and it made me enjoy killing you, because my mind had been so badly warped i thought i was doing the right thing. or what i had to do, because i thought no-one understood what i was doing. it was the same back home, but i never actually hurt anyone, and i don't think i ever would've.
do you see what i mean? the stupid rock not only got into my head and completely warped who i am and what i believe, but it also compelled me to use its power no matter what. even if it involved hurting someone that i would never dream of hurting otherwise.
i hate that memory.
i can't tell you more about why the relic is the way it is. just what it did to me. i didn't even understand until i came back and had it explained several times.
this is long and beautiful and I hope my reply does it justice
[ There's a pause. There isn't usually a pause in Ash's texts, because he doesn't type them manually, he connects wirelessly to his phone and sends them instantaneously, as he thinks the words. But this conversation seems serious, and Ash wants to take the time to make sure what he says is the right thing. The thing he truly means, and the thing Archie needs to hear.
He so often says the wrong thing. He'd feared it was something he'd said which made Archie turn him into a tree, that day. Now, he understands that it wasn't, that nothing he could have said or done would have stopped Archie's mad progression through Maurtia Falls. But he still doesn't want to say the wrong thing. ]
I think everyone makes mistakes.
Not world-ending ones, always. Most of the time they're smaller mistakes than that.
But it sounds like you learned from the mistake you made back home, and were trying to be better.
I'm sorry the relic used your mistake against you.
110%
it means a lot you'd hear me out
i'm sorry too, even if it wasn't me that hurt you.
i hope what happened makes a bit more sense now
I JUST REALIZED BOTH ASH'S AND MERLE'S TAGS TALKED ABOUT MAKING MISTAKES AUGHHH I'M BEING REPETITIVE
I still don't understand how a stone can take control of someone.
YOU'RE PERFECT DW DW
if you want more clarified just ask
i think i'm okay to talk about it a bit more now
me neither and i was the one it fucking latched onto
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When the stone had control of you, did you know what was happening?
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i remember what i was doing and thinking during the time, but it wasn't like i was stuck in my own head while the relic created a new persona
i had 0 control but just thought i was acting as i had to
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It changed your perceptions.
...somehow.
[ The robot doesn't understand magic. ]
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[neither does the pirate.]
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It wasn't you, like you said.
It's probably best if we move on from it.
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you can talk to merle, lucretia, magnus or taako about it. the relic was from their world so i think they could give you better technical answers.
if you're ready to then sure
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You were a good friend to me before it happened, and you've been a good friend to me since. If you say it won't happen again, I believe you.
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i just can't say it won't happen again, through a relic or some bullshit that happens here. all i can say is i'd never hurt you like that if i have full control of my own actions.
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I know we can't guarantee things will go smoothly, here.